Compromise
noun
- a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
- the result of such a settlement.
- something intermediate between different things:
The split-level is a compromise between a ranch house and a multistoried house.
Compromise is going to be the best tool you have when planning a wedding. Both women and men dream about what they would like to have their wedding day be like. A dress, a tux, the music, the food, the cake and every other detail of the day. At age twelve I announced to my family that I would be making my future wife’s wedding dress and of course an outfit for my mother. I had already started thinking about what I did want and even more important what I didn’t want. And so the dreams of a big white wedding were set in motion.
During an initial meeting with a couple as the wedding coordinator I try to find out what their vision is for their I DO Day. What sort of venue, what does it feel like, what style do they like? Many times what one spouse wants and the other spouse wants don’t align and can cause stress for the couple. No problem is too large to get around as long as we all listen and try to understand what is really going on. There is so much emotion and stress planning a wedding and couples get caught up in the little issues and don’t look at the big picture. This is great reason to hire an event planner or wedding coordinator. As a wedding planner in Miami, Fort Lauderdale or New York City often I am called upon to play referee. “My mother thinks we should have these flowers but I really would like those”. If mom and dad are helping out with the expenses they should have an opportunity to express an opinion about the things they are paying for. This is where your wedding planner can step in and pull mom aside and see what is really going on.
If you are starting a new life together as married spouses planning your wedding is great practice for those discussions that lay ahead of you. In ten years will it really matter if he wants to wear lavender argyle socks with his suit for the wedding? If your 78 year old aunt shows up in a green dress when you have specifically asked guests to wear black and white what are you going to do. Enjoy the day and enjoy your aunt and know it will make a great story for years to come.